Another Sun Soaked Season Fades Away~

Today was uneventful. All these days are turning uneventful. It's like summer's over, but we haven't gone back to school yet. I feel like a cow, and I wish I was skinnier for my return to school. Why do I have to hate myself so much? I hate myself from the second I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. I never tell myself I look beautiful or my outfit looks great, it's always put downs. I can't bring myself to compliment something unsatisfying.
All the siblings (including step) are coming down tomorrow, or they're supposed too. M is apparently having a hard time. She's 94 pounds. I see her suffering with her eating but I still wish I could look like that and switch places with her.
I'm starting to get stressed out about going back to school. Feeling this inadequate, I worry about what people are gonna think about me! Also about the workload I'm gonna have, and balancing that with friends and the gym and everything else I'd rather do with my time. Hopefully it'll all work out...
But I have this other thing to worry about- my teeth! I feel like I have two cavities, one on each side of my mouth. It hurts when I chew..like a shooting, sharp pain. It really sucks! I've always hated the dentist, and I'm really scared to go and find out what's wrong. Mehhhh.
I'll talk tomorrow. *sigh*

~baby steps~

Intake:
Calories:
Breakfast (my mom was badgering me to let her make me something...)- (Veggie) Sausage Links:160 cals
Dinner- Veggie Burger:70 cals; Zucchini:14 cals; (Veggie) Buffalo Wings:110 cals
Snacks- Chewy Granola Bar:90 cals; Nectarine:62 cals; Ritas Sugar Free KidsSized Water Ice:35 cals!
Excersize:
Swimming, Ocean, 55 min:391 cals burnt
Net: 150 cals

I'm eating so much because (i think) it's the end of my vacation and I'm splurging. I know it's bad, but once school starts and I get back to business and routine I'll hunker down. Pwomise.