Sunday, 9-18-11
Besides the food I ate these past 3 days, this weekend was a bangin one! :D The concert was so fun! My friend ended up coming and hanging out with me the whole time. Plus we hung out with other people too and it was really fun :3 hehehe. Today my 3 friends came over and we baked cookies (:/)  and went in the hot tub and did other fun stuff and it was really great. 2 out of the 3 of them I wasn't that good friends with so it's nice to feel like I actually have friends and bonded with them a little bit. My grandfather, grandmother (on my dads side), and my uncle are coming to visit this weekend! We only see them like twice a year, so I'm excited! I have to be skinnier before they come though. Otherwise they'll still view me as a fat fuck, and I don't want to be that way anymore. I will try hard this week for them. While in the hot tub today with my friends, they were like "lillyyyy lets find you a man!" and kept saying that and stuff. They won't, no one will like me... but my one friend was like "yeah lilly you lost weight! you look really good!" it's nice to get compliments but I don't see a change when I look in the mirror. My birthdays coming up (oct. 2) and I'm planning on telling my mom that I don't want a cake. Even if she got one, I wouldn't have any, but I don't want to put myself in that position. I hope it goes over smooth. On saturday, ali was over with O and she texted me being like "are you okay? you're losing a lot of weight and im worried about you." and all this stuff. {They think I'm bulimic...} Ali was like "you don't have to take it to the extents you do" and i was like "what extents" and she was like "Starving." She shouldn't be worried, I'm eating... I'm eating alot. Too much actually. I'm still scared of feeling like I'm gonna faint again honestly. I was talking to M about me not eating because I was kind of confronted and I dunno. She was like, "I see you dieting and it fucks with me staying sober" and other stuff like "don't get into it" and all that (I don't feel like typing the message). I dont know whats going on with me right now. I'm all distorted and confused and lost.
It's currently 5:35 AM because I couldn't sleep (fuck sunday nights), and in 10 minutes I'll start getting ready for school. Here's what I'm wearing:

I've also started keeping track of my "outfits"(/weight loss progress) through pictures in Iphoto. :)

Intake, Saturday 9-17-11:
Calories:
Breakfast- Rice Cake:45 cals
Lunch- Baby Carrots:23 cals
Dinner- Veggie Burger:70 cals; Baby Carrots:23
Net-162 cals
{{Not THAT bad for no exercise at all.. plus that was the concert night so I burnt some calories dancing and running around the concert, so...}}

Intake, Sunday 9-18-11:
Calories:
Breakfast- Almonds:41 cals
Lunch- Rice Cake:45 cals
Dinner- 1/4th Broccoli Chicken- 45 cals
Snack- Cookie:102 cals
Net- 234 cals
{{my friends wanting to bake cookies and me going along with it...}}

Since I barely had any sleep this night, I dont think I'll go to the gym today because I'll have NO energy. Tomorrow I shall :)

&commence the rest of my getting ready for school! woop woop

~baby steps~